The Capacity to Articulate Loss
Since beginning college, I have had less time to visit my maternal grandparents. Recently, my Grandfather turned ninety and on his birthday our short conversation made me realize how much I had lost in communication over the past few years.
The Capacity to Articulate Loss is an exploration of the deterioration in communication that stems from the relationship I have with my grandparents. Studies of communication and entropy are used to distance myself from the fact I am dealing with the eventual passing of them. Using both transparent and semi-transparent materials, I use layering to represent both memories and the scientific process of aging. By using thread, I am physically connecting soundwaves of conversations I wish I had with them.
In the piece “Conversations,” I am using handwritten text within cups filled with resin to represent the conversations I have had with my grandparents. The teacups are placed across from each other in the installation as if a conversation were actually taking place at a table. In the diptych “Hearing” and “Speech” are photographic representations of my grandparents when they were first married and overlayed with hand embroidery to illustrate problems that affect my ability to communicate easily with them.
Beginning this series was emotionally conflicting for me. Sharing emotions and the things closest to me is not something that I am used to. I had to confront the issue of lack of communication in my relationship with my grandparents and the feelings that accompanied them. While this work seems personal, I have the tendency to immediately distance myself from others; this is also true in my work. The process of layering provides the ability for me to show this work; these overlays are used as a barrier between the viewer and myself.